Biopsy Blooper

Once again, it's time for another one of Mama Kat's Writing Prompts.  This week, I've chosen:

5.) I sometimes laugh when I'm uncomfortable...or being yelled at...or in church...or at a funeral. Write about a time when you laughed at an inappropriate time.

Unfortunately, that's too easy.  You see, a few years ago, I had my first mammogram.  Not the most pleasant experience in the world, but it got worse when they found a “suspect” spot on the x-ray.  They said that my breasts were very fibrous, so it was difficult to tell for sure, so they would have to do a biopsy. 

Biopsy.  One of the scariest words in the English language.  It is full of the unknown and has the potential for the worst case scenario at it’s end.

Needless to say, I freaked. 

I prayed, I had many family and friends praying, I got a blessing from the Bishop and one of his counselors, I ran the whole gambit… I wasn’t taking any chances.  If I could have found my lucky rabbits foot from when I was a kid, I’d have broken that out too!

So, the day finally came.  They numbed me up, prepped me, etc.  I was terrified.  And then, during the “explanation” of what was going to happen, they showed me the gigantic needle that they would be inserting into my breast to take a few samples.  Oh. My. God.  It was HUGE!  The needles they take your blood with are dwarfed by this baby.  It’s David and Goliath time when comparing this needle to one you usually see when having blood drawn. 

Again, I freaked.

I started shaking even more and here I was, lying on the table, one arm up over my head, breast exposed, crying a bit because of the stress and all the emotions running through me and then the raiologist guy who was going to perform the biopsy took out one of those long q-tips with that reddish stuff they put on an area to keep it clean for any type of surgical procedure.  He rubbed it over my breast, hit the nipple with the q-tip, and it happened…

I laughed.  And not just a little giggle, but a huge guffaw.  I couldn’t help it.  Everyone was shocked and the radiologist said, “Well, that’s a first.  In all my years, I’ve never had anyone laugh during this procedure.”  I tried to apologize, I was so embarrassed.  I’m so darn ticklish and all the emotions and all the anxiety had nowhere else to go but “out with a laugh.”  Nothing I said made it any better either, everyone was just standing around me staring, so I finally shut up and just waited.  The radiologist took his cue and continued to rub the q-tip around a bit more and honestly, it was all I could do to keep from laughing even more.  I really am that ticklish!  And with my underarm exposed... well, that’s one of my most vulnerable tickle-spots.  Just having someone close to that spot can make me giggle in anticipation of a tickle, so I was doomed, to say the least.  There must have been a very traumatic tickle-war in my childhood... but I digress...

The procedure went on and I went through the dreaded “waiting in limbo” time period.  And the healing period was quite painful as well.  Thankfully the prayers all worked (I’m giving God all the credit, for sure!) and it came back negative.  But due to the laughter incident, I was totally mortified and come to think of it, I haven’t been back for another mammo since.  Hmmm... well, with all the poking and prodding I had done during my pregnancy, maybe, just maybe, I won’t be so ticklish from now on?  Yeah, right!  Don't even think of going near my feet!