Wednesday, December 21, 2011

You know you're a mother when...

1.      You use your spit to clean off someone’s face… and it’s not necessarily your child! (It might even be an adult!)
2.      Your purse spills over and out comes nothing but baby wipes, cheerios, toys from numerous kids meals and a miscellaneous sock that would only fit the foot of a toddler… wallet?  What wallet?  Ahh, crap!
3.      You dig deeper into your purse to find the above lost wallet only to find… eeewwww, gross!  Where are those wipes?!?!
4.      You realize that you have no idea how you survived before you had wipes.
5.      You follow the disastrous trail of toys and clothes in order to find a child.
6.      The kids are constantly losing the tv remotes and you dig into the couch to find them and… eeeeewwwwww, Honey, bring me a wipe!
7.      You realize your mother’s curse worked!  Thanks a lot, Mom!  :-P
8.      You automatically move everything away from the edges of tables, counters, etc., even when in the homes of people who don’t have kids.
9.      You see everything as a hazard… this’ll poke an eye out, that’s slippery and someone will fall, this can get knocked off, that’s too dangerous over there…. OMG my house is a death trap!!  How on earth has anyone survived this far?!?!
10.  You realize you can’t even pee in peace, so you find your iPod, lock yourself in the bathroom and pray that the house doesn’t catch fire and no one bleeds to death for the five minutes you desire of “Me time” only to take the headphones off out of guilt.
11.  You realize that you’re totally exhausted, it’s only 5 o’clock, you haven’t even started dinner and you haven’t accomplished anything other than running after a munchkin, cleaning up after a munchkin, and keeping said little mess-maker from killing himself by diving off of furniture!
12.  You realize it’s ONLY 5 o’clock and you’re ready for bed, even if the kids aren’t!
13.  Your little one comes up to you and gives you a huge hug and the cutest little fishy kiss and the whole day melts away with his giggle.

Inspired by Mama Kat

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