The Perspective of Patience

Going through Facebook this morning, I found a quote posted by one of my friends:  "Patience is not the ability to wait, but it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting."  Patience has never been one of my virtues, but it's something that my son has been teaching me this first year of his life.  Especially when trying to get him to go to sleep.  He's a very light sleeper and many times I have to hold him until he's deep in sleep before putting him down.  That can take anywhere from a few minutes (on good nights) to a half hour (when he's had a nightmare.) 

As I sit, holding him, I'll say to myself, "Patience.  Savor this time.  It'll be over before I know it."  And I look down at him and memorize every bit of his face, his little hand as he sucks his thumb, his hair (we're getting his first hair cut soon since he turns one this month) and sometimes the emotions overwhelm me and I start to cry.  It's all I can do to not sob somedays, not wanting to wake him.  My hormones never have gone back to normal... not even vaguely close to what they were before the pregnancy.

He's growing so fast!  He's so curious and is constantly getting into things.  He refuses to learn what "No" means.  He totally ignores me 99% of the time when I call him.  And I know that's all normal.  But it's frustrating and again, I need patience.  And I take a step back and watch him grow his curiosity.  Instead of trying to stop him from what he needs to learn not to do, I observe him learn and explore.  I still stop him when he touches what can hurt him, but it's all Perspective.  Some days I get caught up in trying to protect, when I should be encouraging his exploring and learning.  That's when the Patience comes in. 

And then there's the hand-me-a-toy-and-take-it-back game... now there's some patience in progress.  And the pick-me-up-let-me-down-pick-me-up-again game.  That one gets quite exhausting after a few minutes.  He loves to hold my hands and "climb" up the front of the couch, like a mountain climber. 

There are many more repetitive games that he's teaching me, but they all have the same outcome... me learning patience... or trying to, that is.