FYI...

Well, I always start out with good intentions... But then crap out early in the game.  Missed yesterday for posting and I really wanted to get in a post every day for a whole month.  Missed the 3rd day!  Geez.  I really wish I had good time management.  Oh well, there's always next month...

Speaking of November, it's NaNoWriMo month next month!!!  I've been looking forward to this all year!  Last year I fell very short, but I got farther in writing a book than I ever had before!  This year I'm bound and determined to finish with full force!  So, stay tuned for more on that during the month of November.

Also, just an FYI, I'm planning a craft day and have a great idea that will combine my new features of Arts& Crafts with Gardening... and since I'll be posting pics, it'll have the photography feature with it too.  I'm very excited about the craft and hope to be uploading that this sometime over the next week.  I just have to get some supplies first.

My Personal Garden

Ok, so I got some tomato plants from one of the women at church a couple weeks ago... one is an indoor tomato plant, the other two are outdoor tomato plants.  All three are still in my house.  Sigh.  I just really don't know what happens to my time.  Well, yes, I do... I have a one year old.  But I honestly don't know how other mothers do it all.  I hardly accomplish anything during the day and I'm exhausted.  My days are filled with chasing after Buggaboo and playing with him and then squeezing in a few dishes or maybe a pile of laundry (which is never ending.)

But at least the plants are still alive.  That's an accomplishment in and of itself!

We're finally starting a compost pile, so once we get that going, that will certainly help out too... if we ever get those two plants moved outside, that is.

But for now, the two tall ones sit patiently in our windows, yearning for the fresh outdoors.

To be continued... (My Personal Garden will be an ongoing project that I will periodically blog about, one of my new features.  Enjoy!)

Growing Pains

Well, between teething and growing pains, we haven't gotten a good night's sleep in our household for a while now.  When I say "We" I mean me and the one year old.  Hubby works night shift and the teenager is on the other side of the house.  It's a small house, though, so I have no idea how he could ignore his baby brother screaming and crying.  And at some moments, I'm not sure who's screams and cries are the loudest, mine or the baby's.

It usually only lasts about an hour or less, but it seems like an eternity.  I now understand why my mom always said she wished it was her hurting instead of me.  And I can't wait until my little boy can actually talk so he can tell me what hurts.  And maybe then, I can explain to him (and hopefully he'll be able to understand) why he's hurting.

It's not that I want him to grow up quicker.  Lord knows he's growing up fast enough as it is.  But watching him with tears rolling down his cheeks and looking at me with that "Please make it go away!" look, just about kills me.

But then, when the pain goes away and he curls up in my arms to go back to sleep, with that unconditional love and trust... I know that he'll be ok.  And maybe so will I.

Artsy-Fartsy-itis

Ya know... honestly, I wish I was more creative.  And when the spark does happen (rare that it is) I wish I would actually write the idea down.  Everyone thinks I'm creative and a few actually show some jealousy at times toward my creativity.  But the truth is... I'm not.  (I can take a base idea and run with it, adding, tweaking, etc. but coming up with something new?  Meh, not lately)  Or, at least, I don't think so... not anymore.  I may have been in my younger years, but now?  Not so much.  Not after surfing the web (more precisely, Pinterest.com) for ideas. 

Wow, can I get totally distracted by that website.  I just love it and can get so lost in it.  The amazing things that people have and find on the web are overwhelming.  Especially when I go through and find a ton of really cool, fun and interesting crafty and artsy-fartsy ideas. 

Then I get a bit depressed.  When was the last time I came up with a cool craft?  When did I become so unimaginative, so unproductive? 

I've come to one conclusion...

Technology.

As much as I love it, use it, come to rely on it and refuse to ever give up completely, I believe that the technology that we, or at least, I, use is somewhat a major factor in my lack of creativity. 

I used to read a lot and lately, I'm lucky to get a page or two read in a month.  Of course, the other determining factor lately is a little one-year-old who runs the house.  But this Disease of Lacocreativity (lack-of-creativity, for those who didn't get it) happened years before I had kids.

So, what to do?

Well, I could always look up crafty ideas on the web to spark my creativity.... oh... wait... no, that doesn't exactly work, now does it?  That's like an alcoholic taking a drink to get up the nerve to quit drinking.  Not quite the most ideal solution.

Any ideas?

Well, this is something I believe that I will need to ponder on more.  (although I'm open to suggestions.  It's not like I'm going to give up the computer!)  Maybe it's time to get a new book to read more and break out the paint and brushes again... now where did I put those...?

The Language of Flowers

1.) What type of flowers would be in a bouquet that best describes you? (inspired by Persipacity and the article Talking the language of Flowers)

(Writing Prompt from Mama Kat)

 

A bouquet of wildflowers, my favorite.  It’s a mix of everything… every emotion, every thought and care in the world.  Everything from worry and anxiety to love and tenderness and everything in between.  I have just as many emotions as there are flowers in that bouquet.  I also have just as many interests.  It all depends on the Mood of the Moment as to which one’s aroma I choose to enjoy (or dread) in my life right then and there.

From iFlorist.com:

Absinth/Wormwood: Separation and Torment of Love

Almond Blossom: Hope and Watchfulness

Aloe: Wisdom and Integrity

Azalea: Fragile and Ephemeral Passion

Carnation, Yellow: Disdain and Rejection

Chestnut: Independence and Injustice

Cinnamon: Love and Beauty

Clematis: Artifice and Ingenuity

Convolvulus: Humble Perseverance

Daisy: Gentleness, Innocence, Loyal love (one of my favorite flowers)

Forget-me-not: Faithful Love, Memories (could this be used for forgetfulness?)

Gladiolus: Strength Of Character, I am really sincere

Heliotrope: Devotion, Eternal Love

Hibiscus: Delicate Beauty

Honeysuckle: Sweetness Of Disposition (one of my favorite scents)

Hyacinth: Games & Sports

Iris: Faith, Wisdom, Valor, Your Friendship means so much to me

Ivy: Friendship, Wedded love, Fidelity, Friendship, Affection

Jasmine, Yellow: Timidity and Modesty (my other favorite scent)

Jonquil: Violent Sympathy and Desire, Love me, Affection returned

Larkspur: Open Heart

Lilac, Mauve: "Do You Still Love Me"

Lily-Of-The-Valley: Purity and Humility, Sweetness

Lotus: Mystery and Truth

Petunia: Anger and Resentment

Poppy: Imagination, Dreaminess, Eternal sleep

Queen Anne's Lace: Fantasy

Zinnia: Thoughts of Absent Friends

And those are just the highlights of “Me” there are so many more, deeper, parts (issues?) of me as well.  But those would make a good bouquet, although a rather large one.

Is there a flower for Distraction?  I’d have to add that one in too! 

Photo of the Day

Today's photo choice is:


Bye Bye Balloon

One of my son's balloons from his first birthday flew away.  I was so surprised, when I went through all of the pictures from the party, that I actually had captured the balloon.

My 2 Cents on (New) Motherhood

5.) Advice to new mothers.

Mama Kat’s Writing Prompt

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep!  I can’t stress that enough… I don’t mean to do nothing but sleep.  You’re a new mom and you certainly have your hands full.  But I was told to “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” and I ignored it.  Boy, was that a bad call on my part.  I figured, “Yeah, right, but I’ve got tons of stuff that I want and need to do!”  Pppttthhhhh!  I’d try to do something, figuring that I’d do “whatever” for just a few minutes, then take a nap.  HA!  Just as I’d be wrapping up getting ready to lie down, WAAAAA!!!!!  There’s the baby.  Up and cranky and hungry with a full diaper.  (honestly, I’ve never seen anyone pee as much as my son!  But that’s another post. LOL)  Hours later, I’d finally get him back to sleep and finally get my 15 minutes of snooze-time before it would start all over again.



One day old

And you’ve heard about this PPD crap, right?  The Post-partum depression that some women suffer from… well, everyone gets moody, right?  You just had a baby, your hormones are all out of whack, you’re having anxiety because this is your first or because it’s just such a tiny, helpless thing, and you just feel a bit out of sorts.  Well, don’t let it get out of hand.  A few weeks of that is usually normal, but if it goes past that, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor.  Even if you feel totally stupid about it.  I was told this same piece of advice.  I didn’t listen.  Now my baby is one year old and I’m a total basket case and on meds with a full-blown case of PPD and PPA (post-partum depression and post-partum anxiety.)

So, to recap, SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS and BE TOTALLY HONEST WITH YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONS, THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, ETC. 

Yes, I’m yelling because no one yelled at me, no one checked up on me, I didn’t have any close female support, so I missed out on some really wonderful bonding time with my son because I was emotionally distant and unable as well as physically exhausted.  Please don’t let that happen to you.

I’m getting better now and I’ve bonded with my son, but I’m sorry that I let it go so long and I’m still exhausted, but I take more naps now! 

So, to the new mothers reading this, congratulations on your new Little One, be sure to take as good of care of yourself as you do for your baby.



Amazing how much he's changed in one year, isn't it?!



Hobby Hoarder

2.) If you were a hoarder, based on your personality…what would you hoard? (better yet, ask someone who knows you well, what they think you would hoard). 
(Writing prompt from Mama Kat)

“If” 

If?

IF?!

HA!  Now that’s funny… “If” I were a hoarder… Well, I wouldn’t say I’m a hoarder, not in the TV show “Hoarders” image… I’m a COLLECTOR!  A collector of EVERYTHING!  OMG this prompt is tailor made for me.  My mother was a packrat, I’m a packrat and low and behold, so is my husband.  I inherited my mother’s house (ie all of her stuff) and of course, there’s all of my stuff… then my husband and I got married and he moved in…. well, let me tell you, the amount of stuff that we have is incredible! 

And believe it or not, we’ve been purging!  You wouldn’t know it to look in our garage, or the bedroom, or the third bedroom that is supposed to be the baby’s room.  Someday it will be the baby’s room.  (currently we’re co-sleeping, but that’s just because we have yet to clean out the baby’s room.  He’s already one year old, by the way.  Of course, I’m having issues with PPD and PPA, so we’d probably still be co-sleeping, but that’s my little secret!  Shhhh, don’t tell my hubby!) 

So, what do I hoard?  Well, I used to collect coffee mugs, unicorns, key chains, sea shells, and any number of miscellaneous items.  I don’t drink coffee anymore, but still enjoy a cup of hot cocoa or herbal tea now and then.  The unicorns from my childhood have been lost in many moves, but still hold a place in my heart.  The key chains are strewn about, forgotten mostly.  I still collect sea shells, though, and probably always will.  And then there’s the Disney stuff, but that’s a whole other blog post.

It’s all the sentimental crap that clutters our house.  You know, the things that you don’t need, nor particularly really want, but you just can’t seem to get rid of because of a wonderful, nostalgic moment in time that has been reborn in your memory because you came across them again as you cleaned out an old dusty box from way back in the back corner of wherever that you haven’t seen in ages.

And then there are all the crafty, artistic, hobby stuff that fills up any gaps left.  I’m an artist and have numerous art and craft supplies.  Everything from paint brushes, sketch books and lots of sketches to stamps and stamping supplies and scrapbooking paraphernalia fills up many totes and drawers and other nooks and crannies in the house… particularly the “baby’s room.”

Oh, and the books!  Well, let’s just say I could open up my own personal library and leave it at that.

And that’s my personality… nostalgic, artistic, a little geeky and chaotic.  (probably a bit dusty sometimes as well LOL)  I’d say my main issue is that I have so many interests that I don’t have enough “House for my Hobbies!”

Now that I’m a “Mom” however, I find myself trying to purge more and more out of necessity for the baby.  He needs his room and my husband and I really need our room, for the sake of our marriage!  I long for the days of spooning with my hubby as we fall asleep. 

Yard sale anyone?!

My number 1 One Year Old!

The love of a child, priceless!

The Perspective of Patience

Going through Facebook this morning, I found a quote posted by one of my friends:  "Patience is not the ability to wait, but it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting."  Patience has never been one of my virtues, but it's something that my son has been teaching me this first year of his life.  Especially when trying to get him to go to sleep.  He's a very light sleeper and many times I have to hold him until he's deep in sleep before putting him down.  That can take anywhere from a few minutes (on good nights) to a half hour (when he's had a nightmare.) 

As I sit, holding him, I'll say to myself, "Patience.  Savor this time.  It'll be over before I know it."  And I look down at him and memorize every bit of his face, his little hand as he sucks his thumb, his hair (we're getting his first hair cut soon since he turns one this month) and sometimes the emotions overwhelm me and I start to cry.  It's all I can do to not sob somedays, not wanting to wake him.  My hormones never have gone back to normal... not even vaguely close to what they were before the pregnancy.

He's growing so fast!  He's so curious and is constantly getting into things.  He refuses to learn what "No" means.  He totally ignores me 99% of the time when I call him.  And I know that's all normal.  But it's frustrating and again, I need patience.  And I take a step back and watch him grow his curiosity.  Instead of trying to stop him from what he needs to learn not to do, I observe him learn and explore.  I still stop him when he touches what can hurt him, but it's all Perspective.  Some days I get caught up in trying to protect, when I should be encouraging his exploring and learning.  That's when the Patience comes in. 

And then there's the hand-me-a-toy-and-take-it-back game... now there's some patience in progress.  And the pick-me-up-let-me-down-pick-me-up-again game.  That one gets quite exhausting after a few minutes.  He loves to hold my hands and "climb" up the front of the couch, like a mountain climber. 

There are many more repetitive games that he's teaching me, but they all have the same outcome... me learning patience... or trying to, that is. 

Fun with Fonts and PhotoShop Frenzy

Well, if you're a geek like me, you'll love the websites I found today!  I've found some amazing brushes for PhotoShop... All Free!  And some great fonts, free as well!  Along with some other really cool stuff....

Font Squirrel

Background Labs

Brush Lovers

1stWebDesigner

SwiftPSD

I haven't been paid to advetise these (although, wouldn't that be great if I had?!  My hubby would love me for that!) so, don't think these are just ads... No, I just really found them totally interesting and thought that some of my readers (the few of you that I have) would enjoy them too.

So....  Enjoy!

Biopsy Blooper

Once again, it's time for another one of Mama Kat's Writing Prompts.  This week, I've chosen:

5.) I sometimes laugh when I'm uncomfortable...or being yelled at...or in church...or at a funeral. Write about a time when you laughed at an inappropriate time.

Unfortunately, that's too easy.  You see, a few years ago, I had my first mammogram.  Not the most pleasant experience in the world, but it got worse when they found a “suspect” spot on the x-ray.  They said that my breasts were very fibrous, so it was difficult to tell for sure, so they would have to do a biopsy. 

Biopsy.  One of the scariest words in the English language.  It is full of the unknown and has the potential for the worst case scenario at it’s end.

Needless to say, I freaked. 

I prayed, I had many family and friends praying, I got a blessing from the Bishop and one of his counselors, I ran the whole gambit… I wasn’t taking any chances.  If I could have found my lucky rabbits foot from when I was a kid, I’d have broken that out too!

So, the day finally came.  They numbed me up, prepped me, etc.  I was terrified.  And then, during the “explanation” of what was going to happen, they showed me the gigantic needle that they would be inserting into my breast to take a few samples.  Oh. My. God.  It was HUGE!  The needles they take your blood with are dwarfed by this baby.  It’s David and Goliath time when comparing this needle to one you usually see when having blood drawn. 

Again, I freaked.

I started shaking even more and here I was, lying on the table, one arm up over my head, breast exposed, crying a bit because of the stress and all the emotions running through me and then the raiologist guy who was going to perform the biopsy took out one of those long q-tips with that reddish stuff they put on an area to keep it clean for any type of surgical procedure.  He rubbed it over my breast, hit the nipple with the q-tip, and it happened…

I laughed.  And not just a little giggle, but a huge guffaw.  I couldn’t help it.  Everyone was shocked and the radiologist said, “Well, that’s a first.  In all my years, I’ve never had anyone laugh during this procedure.”  I tried to apologize, I was so embarrassed.  I’m so darn ticklish and all the emotions and all the anxiety had nowhere else to go but “out with a laugh.”  Nothing I said made it any better either, everyone was just standing around me staring, so I finally shut up and just waited.  The radiologist took his cue and continued to rub the q-tip around a bit more and honestly, it was all I could do to keep from laughing even more.  I really am that ticklish!  And with my underarm exposed... well, that’s one of my most vulnerable tickle-spots.  Just having someone close to that spot can make me giggle in anticipation of a tickle, so I was doomed, to say the least.  There must have been a very traumatic tickle-war in my childhood... but I digress...

The procedure went on and I went through the dreaded “waiting in limbo” time period.  And the healing period was quite painful as well.  Thankfully the prayers all worked (I’m giving God all the credit, for sure!) and it came back negative.  But due to the laughter incident, I was totally mortified and come to think of it, I haven’t been back for another mammo since.  Hmmm... well, with all the poking and prodding I had done during my pregnancy, maybe, just maybe, I won’t be so ticklish from now on?  Yeah, right!  Don't even think of going near my feet! 

PM Stretch

Mmmmm, does this ever look good... I could really use a good little mini workout before bed... and after just watching this I'm soooo ready to sleep!  LOL  Just kidding, well, sort of, it just looks so relaxing!  Especially that hip stretch.  I could really use that one.  I think I'll try it in the morning like the guy says.  Hope you enjoy!

Applause

This week's Writing Prompts from Mama Kat's Workshop... This week I chose:

1.) A moment your realized your child was growing up.

I'm not sure that there was one actual moment where I realized it.  It's been more of an ongoing thing and I'm slowly realizing it.  He's going to be 1 next month and it's just the little things that make me step back and look at how big he's gotten.  Such as when I hold him during one of his naps.  He's so small, yet he's so much bigger than when he was born. 

Today, I actually got applause from him when singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider!  He clapped his hands at the end of each rendition and waited patiently for me to begin again.  I was so proud!  And I'm not sure who I was more proud of, him for clapping at the right time or me for being entertaining enough to him to warrant his applause!  Either way, I was beaming! 

Later, he wanted some Goldfish for a snack and he was reaching all the way to the bottom of the bag (there were only a few left and I had to hold it) and he would pull one out, examine it, determine if it got eaten or not, and if not, he would put it back in the bag. 

It's just so amazing, the things he's learned so far.  He's walking all over the place and gets into everything!  But I just love his curiosity... as much as it is frustrating to me to have to run after him constantly, it's just as fun to see him explore.  Some of the looks he has when finding something new is great to witness!  And his frustration at being told "No." or not being able to reach something (like magnets on the fridge that are too high) is hilarious.  I'm sure, at some point in time, it will stop being funny and be more frustrating to me than to him, but for now, it's entertainment on a simpler scale.

To watch the joy in his face when he lights up after he's just accomplished something that is so simple to an adult, yet so big a step for him... I love him more than I ever thought I could love another human being.  It's the most amazing yet terrifying feeling of love that one can never imagine until actually experienced.  And to watch him grow... so fast.  I knew it would go by quickly, but I never thought that in a matter of minutes, he would be almost a year old.  I blinked and he grew up.

So, when is the moment that I realized my little one is growing up?      

Every moment.

Thoughts Upon Waking

I took yesterday's idea of handwriting my entry then taking a picture of it.  Here are some of my random thoughts upon waking this morning.

One of my favorite things...

(Now I have the Sound of Music song stuck in my head... "These are a few of my favorite things" la la la la la la.......)

Welcome to another one of Mama Kat's Writing Prompts. I just love this next idea!

5.) On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy...take a photo of your paper and wa la...there's your post.

So, here it is. (I may even do this again... maybe on a regular basis... if I could actually write in my blog on a regular basis, that is!)

I absolutely love vacationing at Disney World in Florida.  But it's gotta be with the addition of staying at the Polynesian Resort, one of their Deluxe hotels.  Pricey?  Yes.  Worth it?  YES!  I hope to, one day, take my boy to Disney World and have him experience the wonderment that I did when I was little.  My first time was when I was 7.  Things have changed, of course, but it's still holds the magic for me and I hope it will for him too.

I know I didn't need to add anything to this post... just the picture was the idea, but I felt like telling the "why" as well.  That makes me happy too :o)  So there! 

Challenge Shmallenge

From Mama Kat's Workshop, I chose #3 of this week's prompts...


3.) What do you find most challenging about blogging?

Well, lots of things, really.  What to write about,  How to find time to write,  How to get people to my blog,  Figuring out what I want my blog to become, etc. 

Finding time to write in my blog is a big challenge with a 10 month old running about.  Every other minute, I’m running after him for something!  He’s walking now and is quite mobile.  And he’s attracted to all the dirty/dangerous areas.  He has toys and a toy box, but does he go there?  Noooooo, he doesn’t… that’s apparently passé.  He goes straight for the dirty mop and broom that I just used, or he finds a big ol’ fur ball from the dog that was hiding in some forgotten corner. 

Figuring out what I want the blog to become is another challenge.  I have too many interests and I think that shows in my blog.  I’m currently working on that, so we’ll see how that turns out. 

Getting people to come to the blog is a challenge too.  I have people who stop by, my stats show that, but to get them to actually comment is another story.  I’ll share my blog posts on Facebook and Twitter now and then too, to try to get people to come, and I’ll get a comment here and there and a few “Likes” but I want the comments on the blog… and I’m just not sure how to get that. 

Hmmmm….

I suppose that first, I need to figure out what I want it to become, then find the time to write, then I can worry about getting people to stop by and comment.  If I don’t get the first two things figured out, there won’t be anything for anyone to come see and comment on!  Well, except for this post, of course!  LOL

Doodleeze

Haven't had much time to post to the blog lately... been unindated with Bob the Builder, Sesame Street, What's Your News, The Wiggles, Dora the Explorer, etc.  So, I suppose it's natural that I would find myself doodling away....

Wow, did I do that?!?!

Check out my new Photography/Wallpaper page.  It has some of my better photos that you can click on and be taken to a larger image that you can save and use as your wallpaper.  I'd love to hear what you think of it too.  Constructive criticism is always welcome. 

small stature, big place in my heart

I never thought motherhood would be so overwhelmingly emotional.