Here we go with Mama Kat's Writing Prompts... the one I've chosen is:
Why are you burned out?
Burned out. Am I burned out? Definitely. Why? Hmmm... Well, maybe it's not "burned out" per se, but bored. Or a mixture of both? I'm really not sure, but I know that I'm losing interest in what I've been doing lately. I'm angry with myself for screwing up my education and being unable to finish due to fianacial reasons. I feel as if I've screwed myself out of my dreams. But then again, I've got other dreams that I can focus on... so why do I feelt this way? Because I've failed. Or, at least, I'm failing... and before I completely bomb on yet another dream, maybe I should just quit and change direction. But I don't want to quit either.
It's all my own fault. I spread myself too thin with too many projects, I can't focus, I get distracted, I lose track of time and then run out of time, then stress over not having enough time to finish what I want/need to do. Then I'm frustrated and do something else to take my mind off of the stress so that I can relax, but that just delays me even more, but at that point, I don't really care. Then the guilt of temporarily giving up hits and I stress some more. A vicious cycle ensues and then I feel overwhelmed and ta-da! Instant Burn-Out.
So, why am I burned out? ppphhhttttt... who wouldn't be after all that mental anguish that I put myself through?! I'm really too hard on myself. We are our own worst critics. So, here I am, burned out, depressed, unsure of my talents, wishing I had worked harder, blah blah blah.
A burned out mess.
I actually feel a little better getting all of that out. I kind of worked it all out as I was typing. I know I'm burned out, but didn't really understand why. Guess I had more on my mind than I thought. (pun intended)
Thanks for reading.