Thoughtful Thursday...

Here we go with Mama Kat's Writing Prompts... the one I've chosen is:

Why are you burned out?

Burned out.  Am I burned out?  Definitely.  Why?  Hmmm... Well, maybe it's not "burned out" per se, but bored.  Or a mixture of both?  I'm really not sure, but I know that I'm losing interest in what I've been doing lately.  I'm angry with myself for screwing up my education and being unable to finish due to fianacial reasons.  I feel as if I've screwed myself out of my dreams.  But then again, I've got other dreams that I can focus on... so why do I feelt this way?  Because I've failed.  Or, at least, I'm failing... and before I completely bomb on yet another dream, maybe I should just quit and change direction.  But I don't want to quit either. 

It's all my own fault.  I spread myself too thin with too many projects, I can't focus, I get distracted, I lose track of time and then run out of time, then stress over not having enough time to finish what I want/need to do.  Then I'm frustrated and do something else to take my mind off of the stress so that I can relax, but that just delays me even more, but at that point, I don't really care.  Then the guilt of temporarily giving up hits and I stress some more.  A vicious cycle ensues and then I feel overwhelmed and ta-da!  Instant Burn-Out.

So, why am I burned out?  ppphhhttttt... who wouldn't be after all that mental anguish that I put myself through?!  I'm really too hard on myself.  We are our own worst critics.  So, here I am, burned out, depressed, unsure of my talents, wishing I had worked harder, blah blah blah.

A burned out mess.

I actually feel a little better getting all of that out.  I kind of worked it all out as I was typing.  I know I'm burned out, but didn't really understand why.  Guess I had more on my mind than I thought.  (pun intended)

Thanks for reading.

~Oddyssey