Friday, November 19, 2010

Thoughtful Thursday...


Here we go with Mama Kat's Writing Prompts... the one I've chosen is:

Why are you burned out?

Burned out.  Am I burned out?  Definitely.  Why?  Hmmm... Well, maybe it's not "burned out" per se, but bored.  Or a mixture of both?  I'm really not sure, but I know that I'm losing interest in what I've been doing lately.  I'm angry with myself for screwing up my education and being unable to finish due to fianacial reasons.  I feel as if I've screwed myself out of my dreams.  But then again, I've got other dreams that I can focus on... so why do I feelt this way?  Because I've failed.  Or, at least, I'm failing... and before I completely bomb on yet another dream, maybe I should just quit and change direction.  But I don't want to quit either. 

It's all my own fault.  I spread myself too thin with too many projects, I can't focus, I get distracted, I lose track of time and then run out of time, then stress over not having enough time to finish what I want/need to do.  Then I'm frustrated and do something else to take my mind off of the stress so that I can relax, but that just delays me even more, but at that point, I don't really care.  Then the guilt of temporarily giving up hits and I stress some more.  A vicious cycle ensues and then I feel overwhelmed and ta-da!  Instant Burn-Out.

So, why am I burned out?  ppphhhttttt... who wouldn't be after all that mental anguish that I put myself through?!  I'm really too hard on myself.  We are our own worst critics.  So, here I am, burned out, depressed, unsure of my talents, wishing I had worked harder, blah blah blah.

A burned out mess.

I actually feel a little better getting all of that out.  I kind of worked it all out as I was typing.  I know I'm burned out, but didn't really understand why.  Guess I had more on my mind than I thought.  (pun intended)

Thanks for reading.

~Oddyssey

2 comments:

  1. This post rang so truly written, thinking about things but at the same time letting it flow out in reality, without censor. Wonderful writing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow...you're two above me so I'm checking you out. Hers my opinion as I am POSITIVE I'm loser than you. Regrets are pointless. What happened in the past is just a stepping stone. Figure out what you want, quit swelling on the rest and go for it. I f you have a tendency to pared yourself to thin, learn to set limits. Ok, I'm done. I know you'll get it together. Why? Because my advice is always 100% effective.

    K bye
    Lynn MacDonald

    ReplyDelete

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